I feel when you finished something major like a PhD, suddenly your student ways stopped. You do not have excuses anymore to be a student, to deal with drafts of work and to stay up late finishing work.
Normally one should be happy to get rid of student days and be looking forward to other things in life. Not me. Most of my life (that was happy) was when I was a student.
The other day, I was seriously thinking of doing another course. Something like Creative Writing or Philosophy. But that takes a couple of years for the former and four years for the latter. When will I do that? If its for a short course over the summer that would be possible, during my sabbatical.
When I was in a student state, I only worried for the present and the immediate steps to ensure my survival. But after, I completed my PhD course, I am suddenly entrusted to think about the future. I became increasingly engaged in the disability movement and efforts of the country via the Council work and the department of architecture. I morphed to that older side of me and grey hairs started to pop out more and more, eye bags became saggier...
Am I concern more about how I look or about having to be this person who has to carry all these "adult" responsibilities? Which is it?
It does not matter, but these jobs that I do, its because there is no one else being able to do them, and its a matter of shouldering it because I must. That's why parents look the way they are when they are entrusted with responsibilities that they have to do and no one else would take care of their kids obviously.
Well...I cannot run away from it, it seems, but I do have choices actually, unlike the parents...
2 comments:
well.. if u miss those student life ..enroll into another course-perhaps??
Its probably a state of mind...maybe I can create a state of mind that is "like a student" while working...as long as not on automatic pilot...
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