You know how things are.
You try to bring a constant into your life.
It may be a companion or a friend or a hobby, whatever, some stability into your life.
Something to keep you going and look forward to the day.
When the day is done and dusted, you look forward to the next day.
We would sketch a plan for what's to come, but we will never know, what could be lurking around the corner? Or another way of putting it...the unexpectedness of things.
Actually you do expect these things to happen, but when it actually happened, there and then, you got surprised, probably because you are not ready or maybe because you thought those things should happen a long time ago or something like that.
Because you are used to having predictable events and going through the motions, and then when the 'thing' happens, which you had secretly wanted it to happen anyway, you sort of caught unawares and have to use your wits and wills about you to 'cope' with its presence in your life.
Well, this happened to me recently. I wanted to resist it but I knew it would happen when I am stressed. Things like this always happens when you are stressed.
Unbelievably I managed to make this 'constant' a part of my life now. Don't know how long it will last, but I am enjoying it actually.
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Why I love teaching
Did you know that "teaching" gives me such a buzz. It gets me right there, especially when things fall into place.
It's exhilarating, energising, adrenaline pumping and 'you are ready for it' feeling if felt when what you do is translated to your students getting their confidence back. I wish I could psyche up all my students, but it also depends on the students whether they want to be psyche up. Whether they will be ready for the fight.
Crits and presentation are not easy, and it could really drag you to depths of disappointment and pull your self-confidence way down, so you need to get psychologised. Psyche up. It's either you doing it but someone else could do it for you.
It's crunch time for my design thesis students now and for the next 7 weeks.
Get ready for the fight!
It's exhilarating, energising, adrenaline pumping and 'you are ready for it' feeling if felt when what you do is translated to your students getting their confidence back. I wish I could psyche up all my students, but it also depends on the students whether they want to be psyche up. Whether they will be ready for the fight.
Crits and presentation are not easy, and it could really drag you to depths of disappointment and pull your self-confidence way down, so you need to get psychologised. Psyche up. It's either you doing it but someone else could do it for you.
It's crunch time for my design thesis students now and for the next 7 weeks.
Get ready for the fight!
Saturday, February 07, 2009
Back to Work
Work. It's a four letter word.
It's not a bad word. But certainly something that I have not really concentrated on lately.
Not that I have been skiving, but maybe slacking.
I don't like past tense. Nor I want to dwell on the past.
I want to work differently now.
I want to work smart.
I have been inspired lately.
Obviously by getting through with my exam.
There is still some life in me to live it up.
I need to get back to work. Intensely.
It's not a bad word. But certainly something that I have not really concentrated on lately.
Not that I have been skiving, but maybe slacking.
I don't like past tense. Nor I want to dwell on the past.
I want to work differently now.
I want to work smart.
I have been inspired lately.
Obviously by getting through with my exam.
There is still some life in me to live it up.
I need to get back to work. Intensely.
Wednesday, February 04, 2009
What is my PhD for? (Part 2)
They called me "doctor" every where I go.
Technically I have not got the doctorate yet. It is to be approved in April 2009, that is, if I submit the thesis proper. So I am not jumping around with complete joy yet.
However, it is done and dusted.The difficult part. The PhD Viva examination was completed.
So what's the deal?
I asked earlier about what the PhD is for? Was it for glory and being called "doctor"?
I never sell short of myself and under-perform just because I did not get my thesis done earlier. I was the same as I am now. I am not elevated to some kind of wunderkind or got a higher status just because I passed my viva. Yes, it was a difficult process and I sort of "won" something.
Maybe I won my dignity back or maybe I won my self-esteem, but I did not hide behind things. I made my way around and gave my two cents worth. I tried to put my unfinished thesis aside and concentrated on what is at hand. I did not shy away from other responsibilities but there were times when I had to reduce them.
Yes, I survived those years of not being able to finish my thesis. I functioned fully as a lecturer and contributed to other causes.
My PhD is for me, my mother, my late father, my family, my friends and my students.
The thing is about this PhD, it has assured me that I can write. It gave me immense satisfaction for my writing skills, although it's non-fiction. But at least, I was given good comments on my writing.
I want to keep on writing as it is some positive and affirming. My PhD was so that I could now say that I could author a book. For many more exciting moments to come.
Technically I have not got the doctorate yet. It is to be approved in April 2009, that is, if I submit the thesis proper. So I am not jumping around with complete joy yet.
However, it is done and dusted.The difficult part. The PhD Viva examination was completed.
So what's the deal?
I asked earlier about what the PhD is for? Was it for glory and being called "doctor"?
I never sell short of myself and under-perform just because I did not get my thesis done earlier. I was the same as I am now. I am not elevated to some kind of wunderkind or got a higher status just because I passed my viva. Yes, it was a difficult process and I sort of "won" something.
Maybe I won my dignity back or maybe I won my self-esteem, but I did not hide behind things. I made my way around and gave my two cents worth. I tried to put my unfinished thesis aside and concentrated on what is at hand. I did not shy away from other responsibilities but there were times when I had to reduce them.
Yes, I survived those years of not being able to finish my thesis. I functioned fully as a lecturer and contributed to other causes.
My PhD is for me, my mother, my late father, my family, my friends and my students.
The thing is about this PhD, it has assured me that I can write. It gave me immense satisfaction for my writing skills, although it's non-fiction. But at least, I was given good comments on my writing.
I want to keep on writing as it is some positive and affirming. My PhD was so that I could now say that I could author a book. For many more exciting moments to come.
Tuesday, February 03, 2009
Back in Malaysia
I cannot deny that I am relishing the feeling of "freedom" after getting through my PhD viva exam on the 28 January 2008 with minor corrections.
I feel my burden being thrown off my shoulders, my despair being flushed down by the rains that greeted me in Malaysia and the exhilaration of the final push towards my destiny - very strong feelings indeed.My PhD years were very tumultuous although there were pockets calm which I learned so much from. I was steering my metaphorical ship through very choppy waters of my life.Nevertheless, as with all great struggles, you gain most. And I did, in terms of insight and lessons learned. They were gifts from God that was unbelievable and I did not expect them. I did not expect anything of that magnitude.
I feel my burden being thrown off my shoulders, my despair being flushed down by the rains that greeted me in Malaysia and the exhilaration of the final push towards my destiny - very strong feelings indeed.My PhD years were very tumultuous although there were pockets calm which I learned so much from. I was steering my metaphorical ship through very choppy waters of my life.Nevertheless, as with all great struggles, you gain most. And I did, in terms of insight and lessons learned. They were gifts from God that was unbelievable and I did not expect them. I did not expect anything of that magnitude.
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