In the cold light of the day

Shivering alone
You wake up
To the cold morning light
The day gave form
To what was shapeless before
The lines and edges are now
Clearly seen
In the cold light of the day
The pain shapes and sharpen
What was blurred out before
Senses returned
Awakened in the new light

Plan B

If there was a plan, it would have been Plan A and if it did not go right and you'd have to change it, then it's called Plan B.

My Plan A did not work out because I simply did not prepare well for it. I was just excited to do one thing but neglected other essential things so I suffered from the change of strategy.

Plans are strategies. It's as simple as that. Tactics are the details.

There are people operating on a very conceptual level and much higher plane of vision, but most people deal with plans and details in their everyday design and operations.

Seven and a half months

It started one evening. Seven and a half months ago.

But what started it was 38 years ago when I was a kid and I was in America. When Elton John sang Candle in the Wind for the first time and when Diana was alive and have not met Charles.

38 years ago I started to search something that was not born yet, and was not even an idea. Only was in God's Plan.

How I wondered about the magic of it all, the preciousness of knowing something you wanted to since you were a kid. The journey to get there and to even believe it.

So seven and a half months ago I decided to embark on this final journey of discovery. I learned great things and depths of the unknown that I never thought existed. And it was all in me, discovered and treasured. Shared.

The journey ended yesterday as it was necessarily so to do, because I could not venture alone. And I don't know when I get to discover more again or that was the end of the journey.

If it was the end of discovery, then every second of that seven and a half months was worth it.

Sometimes

Sometimes, you just need to push ahead so that you don't go around in circles.
Sometimes, one person's sense of time is different than another person, maybe due to age differences and experience.
Sometimes, you just need to pour your heart and soul into lots of projects, like write, write and write.
Sometimes, you need to just lose yourself and then find your way back, so you can see things afresh and anew.

Because I Love

Amo Ergo Sum
By Kathleen Raine

Because I love
The sun pours out its rays of living gold
Pours out its gold and silver on the sea.

Because I love
The earth upon her astral spindle winds
Her ecstasy-producing dance.

Because I love
Clouds travel on the winds through wide skies,
Skies wide and beautiful, blue and deep.

Because I love
Wind blows white sails,
The wind blows over flowers, the sweet wind blows.

Because I love
The ferns grow green, and green the grass, and green
The transparent sunlit trees.

Because I love
Larks rise up from the grass
And all the leaves are full of singing birds.

Because I love
The summer air quivers with a thousand wings,
Myriads of jewelled eyes burn in the light.

Because I love
The iridescnt shells upon the sand
Takes forms as fine and intricate as thought.

Because I love
There is an invisible way across the sky,
Birds travel by that way, the sun and moon
And all the stars travel that path by night.

Because I love
There is a river flowing all night long.

Because I love
All night the river flows into my sleep,
Ten thousand living things are sleeping in my arms,
And sleeping wake, and flowing are at rest.

The Power of Words

What is your religion?
What is your belief?
If you believe in humanity and the good of people, you can make people act.
You can make people change for the better.

There are people who just accept anything thrown at them as truth, just because it came from a religious authority who could be reading somewhere and pronounce it as word of God, without questioning and proper study and interpretation.

And others will just accept it as the truth.

That's why we have to think for ourselves and question more as the origin of the teaching could be flawed.

This blog will change

I would like to inform my intention of changing this blog to be a REVIEW blog on matters regarding Film, Cinema, Culture and Context (non architectural).

The name will change and private contents will be made private viewing only soon.

Anything architectural, please go to here:

CONTEXTURAL DESIGN

Don't have to listen to preachers all the time...

You don't have to listen to preachers all the time...because they are like robots. They have to crank up whatever that is inside of them so that they tune out the emotional part of themselves, and then they digest whatever they need to from their religious mentors and their holy books...and then they put a pause button on their emotions and feelings...and then they speak out those robotic words...as if it will change you into a better person.

It's like a loudspeaker blaring out...so you close your ears because...no, its not that you do not believe in God and God's words...and no, its not that you want to be belligerent and defy God's laws and all those words of advice and wisdom...

It's because you want to find some peace in your life. That's all.

My purpose in life

A goal is a ahead of you.
It maybe a goal for yourself, or a goal for the team.
You know that you have to put the 'ball in the net'.
To put the 'ball in the net' (using football speak) is to score the goal, in bringing closer to winning the game.
Some matches, you can display your beautiful talent and people will stand around admiring and cheering you on.
Some matches, everything seems to be against you and the game is scrappy, one sided and it is so difficult to get the supporters to cheer you on and in fact, they are 'booing' you because it is so difficult to get it together and be in sync with the team.

The last scenario is what is happening at my workplace.

My purpose in life is to win for the team. I am the one that shoots the passes for the strikers to strike in the ball into the net.
I start the game plan and I create the tempo of the game, because I am the visionary and the initiator.
I must never claim the victory is mine, because I must allow it to be a team game and not a one man team game. People do not like the latter. They loathe it.

I should not be concern with the superficial moves and the bad tackles by others. I just have to get up and move on and play my game.

My purpose in life is to win for the team. For the School of Architecture, UM.
Go ahead and take the credit but the victory will always be mine and others will know in their hearts. Regardless of how people would like to dress it up.

They would call me emotional or whatever names there is under the sun, but as long as I know my purpose in life, that is all that matters.

New Experience

I need to start with this new experience.

To be an architect again...

But what is an architect? Was I one in the first place?
And does having a degree make me an architect?

Obviously not.

After so many years as an academic, about 19 years in all, I need to get back into the mode of an architect, at least for 9 months starting September the first.

I am delaying this 'getting into my role' thing and I have to start thinking like one.

Sense of Place

Landscape is an idea but place is a sense.
A landscape is seen; a place is experienced and known.
(Nicholson, Adam; author of Sissinghurst)

I am designing a house and somehow, the sense of place is important to explore and define in the design. Thinking hard on how to do that.

I got a crit just now and got some encouragement, so I am optimistic.

Now, thinking about a sense of place, I am referring to previous definition:

place n

7. the position or location where somebody or something belongs

How do you make someone feel he/she belong to a place?
Like, if you design a house for people that you don't know. Of course, the basic brief was given to me, but to actually create a sense of place?

Its a great challenge.

I love my Spirit of Shankly t-shirt

And guess what?
The Spirit of Shankly branch will be opening in Malaysia.
This is really great news.

LINK

Getting all excited about the 14 & 16 July 2011 events of training session viewing and watching the game... can't wait...arggghhhhhh!

Walk on II

I love this song. Want to sing it in karaoke...
U2 made this song for Aung San Suu Kyi
It's about an insurmountable struggle that an individual has against oppression and being in captive.

Walk on

And love is not the easy thing
The only baggage that you can bring...
And love is not the easy thing...
The only baggage you can bring
Is all that you can't leave behind

And if the darkness is to keep us apart
And if the daylight feels like it's a long way off
And if your glass heart should crack
And for a second you turn back
Oh no, be strong

Walk on, walk on
What you got they can't steal it
No they can't even feel it
Walk on, walk on...
Stay safe tonight

You're packing a suitcase for a place none of us has been
A place that has to be believed to be seen
You could have flown away
A singing bird in an open cage
Who will only fly, only fly for freedom

Walk on, walk on
What you've got they can't deny it
Can't sell it, or buy it
Walk on, walk on
Stay safe tonight

And I know it aches
And your heart it breaks
And you can only take so much
Walk on, walk on

Home... hard to know what it is if you've never had one
Home... I can't say where it is but I know I'm going home
That's where the heart is

I know it aches
How your heart it breaks
And you can only take so much
Walk on, walk on

Leave it behind
You got to leave it behind
All that you fashion
All that you make
All that you build
All that you break
All that you measure
All that you feel
All this you can leave behind
All that you reason
All that you sense
All that you speak
All you dress-up
All that you scheme...

The Day is going to flow into another day

The Day

It is going to flow into another day
I am going to hear footsteps in the bleak corridor
A mosquito is going to fly into my window

I am going to drive my car and go out for lunch
But not today
I brought some bread and a quarter of a pretzel to work

Nowadays I am not that hungry
Something is making me full
My stomach gets tighter
My heart beats as usual, maybe a little faster

The sun burst through the clouds
The fine rain caresses the damp earth and tarmac
Slippery man-made surfaces I'd avoid

The Day

Its going to flow into another day

The Song of The Reed

I really enjoyed Rumi poems and in particular 'The Song of the Reed'.

Other translations from this website.

5. Rhymed (Abbreviated) Translation by Nicholson, 1950

THE SONG OF THE REED

1. Hearken to this Reed forlorn,

2. Breathing, even since 'twas torn

2. From its rushy bed, a strain

3. Of impassioned love and pain.

7. "The secret of my song, though near,
7. None can see and none can hear.

A. Oh for a friend to know the sign

B. And mingle all his soul with mine!

10. 'Tis the flame of Love that fired me,
10. 'Tis the wine of Love inspired me.

13. Wouldst thou learn how lovers bleed,

35. Hearken, hearken to the Reed!"

--Translated by Reynold A. Nicholson. From "Rûmî: Poet and
Mystic (1207-1273): Selections from His Writings" (London:
George Allen and Unwin, 1950). [Lines indicated by a capital
letter are invented and have no basis in the Persian text.]

We are all in this together

What is a partnership? Is it right to let the other suffer?

A partnership happens when you let in someone else as collaborator to your scheme.

I think this U2 song is about that. About making it in the end. There is a beginning and an end and endless cycle in between...of discovering and learning again and again.




U2's "I'll go crazy if I don't go crazy tonight"

She's a rainbow and she loves the peaceful life
Knows I'll go crazy if I don't go crazy tonight

There's a part of me in the chaos that's quiet
And there's a part of you that wants me to riot
Everybody needs to cry or needs to spit
Every sweet-tooth needs just a little hit
Every beauty needs to go out with an idiot
How can you stand next to the truth and not see it?
A change of heart comes slow..

It's not a hill it's a mountain
As you start out the climb
Do you believe me or are you doubting?
We're gonna make it all the way to the light
But I know I'll go crazy if I don't go crazy tonight

(rest of lyrics)

If you do not feel right about something, what do you do?

I am not proud of many things I do, but one thing I know, I never follow other people if its not right or if it does not feel right.

I have always had to fight and stand up for something I believe in.

In education, you see many injustice and in any endeavour for the good you need to make others around you focus on the task ahead.

If you feel something not right, you must correct it or try to encounter it rather than walk away.

Rafael

Rafa Benitez is my mentor. If people have been following my blog and even in my other blog, I have referred to him often. I miss him so much as the manager of Liverpool Football Club. Not that I do not appreciate Kenny Daglish, but Rafa, he has to come back. When he left the club, my heart broke. Many of us pray he takes over from Kenny Daglish after he retires.

Here is a latest video from the Hillsborough Anniversary when on 15 April 1989, 96 Liverpool fans died.



I just want to share one of the posters' comments in red and white kop forum. From a poster named Stussy:

You know what really got me as I watched Rafa at the memorial?


We saw Rafa lift the European Cup, we saw him win the FA Cup, we saw many large dissapointments, we saw us win some massive games, we had a rollercoaster ride with Rafael Benitez with lows and highs that make you dizzy just thinking about it. And all these times, he seemed to be the embodiment of Kipling's line about treating the two imposters of winning and losing the same, of how you 'keep your head when all around are losing theirs'. I remember Rafa saying when asked once about his coolness at point of goal scoring or winning, that he needs to keep cool because its his responsibility to think tactically and plan immediately for all the myriad of ways in which this goal changes the game, that its most important for him to immediately start planning and plotting and making strategic contingencies because when the team scores and goes crazy, he must keep control for the sake of his team. He is the general, he has to be like Napoleon or whoever, overseeing the game from above.


I think today all the emotion of Rafa's bond with the club, sitting on the Kop, when the Liverpool family was showing its unity, just poured out of him. There must have been a fair amount of pent up emotion from the end of his reign, the frustrations of it all, the ending of his formal link with the club on a low note. But the bond remains, especially with the families, who he became close to and supported, and he didn't have to be in control of anything, or immediately scramble to take mental notes. He could just be who he was, a Red, sitting on the Kop, with his friends who had lost their children following this club.


He gave us some of the greatest victories we have ever had, he almost won us the league, and he gave us what will probably never be surpassed as the single most romantic and mythical night in our history. It was always curious, seeing him standing there keeping his passions under control as we wept with happiness for what he gave us. For me that made me feel more affectionate towards him. To see him today seemed like he was reciprocating some of that emotion helplessly, albeit in very unique and extremely poignant circumstances. Its like his bond with us just got reaffirmed even more.

Blessings from my mother

It is so important to talk to my mother and get her blessings. Hard decisions have to be made, but when your mother understood why you have to do certain things than it is much easier. Somehow the bond you have with your parent, be it your mother or father is a strong 'glue' that is somewhat pliable and breathing. You need that breathable aspects where you find spaces in between the holes and moves forward, growing and developing.

Whatever age you are, it is important to stay alive.

Staying alive is based on how it germinate and grow and sustain itself. It is true with humans.

A difficult decision which could be easier

I am experiencing a difficult decision about my future. One would ask, at my age, I have done a lot of things. What more do I want to do?

I am sure there are people out there who has or is experiencing the same thing. Things get boring and same old, same old. You start doing stupid things, so that is the evidence of someone 'bored' or even frustrated.

Actually I have proven to turn a non situation to an opportunity. I have done that all my life, but this time its a real crossroad and where I go will take me to someplace which will not compromise the other.

Not going into details here but just saying, its hard and I have to make a hard decision in a cutting, precise manner, and just go with what I decide.

By today.