What story must I tell?

What story must I tell?
Who are the characters?
Writing is a way to find oneself. An outlet from this mundane and contrived world.
"Storyteller"
How to be a storyteller?
That is why an architect needs to narrate.
There is a context.
Telling a story in words.
Characters play into it.
Content. Structure. Format / style.
In writing how to weave the context in the words.

Create a life of writing.

But you love design.
Then let me do my thing.
'You can do anything as long as it fits the status quo', says the skeptic.

 Asyrani Daud's 2nd year project

Gogulaarajaan 2nd year project

Torn

Torn is what happens when you tear a paper into half.
Torn is what happens when you have a decision to make and it hurts in deciding.

To be torn apart is sometimes inevitable.

Beautiful tomato nestling on quail's eggs

Such a beautiful tomato grown in a small take away tupperware at my kitchen window for the last five months. Eaten with my mother's quail's eggs.

Homegrown food.

But not everything we eat can be grown at home.

Playing Safe

Is there such a thing as 'playing safe'?
Living your life not taking risks?
If you don't really try, you will never know.
In your 20s, just studying at university, you lay the foundations, build your basic skills and competencies for your intended vocation.
Do you think when you applied for architecture course, and you were accepted to study it, that you will become an architect?
And even if you did pass your course and started working, is it set for life that this will make you happy.
There is no prescription set for everyone.
No perfect formula set for a life of happiness.
You have to try new things to find out what you are about.

At my age, I know one thing that I am good at.
My character and self, I find is a very detailed person.
I am not very good at taking orders or following other people's route and ways.
I find my own way.
I am a late bloomer in things, in life.
But I have to do it first, whatever it is then I know for certain, for sure.
Even then it may take sometime before I finally understood fully.

Yes, I am not good at certain things.
I cannot be good at everything.

Raising your level

People going about their business, motion through life.

Why?
Why exist?

Comfortable with how they. Are they?

The reason for living.

To make yourself a better person, to serve God, to serve humanity. Raising your level, challenging yourself.

Tell it like it is

I loathe "lazy thinking". I mean, I could do that, be lazy to think and con people if I want to. But I was not raised that way and my religion did not teach me to sit on my laurels and let the world pass me by. Mind you, lazy thinkers could still be making lots of money and be way ahead of me in terms of earning and influence. But lazy thinkers would destroy the world if you let them run it. They are in for the short term gain, for quick glory and they would encourage mediocrity to reign supreme and allow for rehashing of old ideas and do not encourage new ideas to flourish.

 I have to say that I really admire Rafael Benitez. See link. Every journalist would either be emotional and self-serving when they recounted England's fate at losing in the quarter-finals of Euro 2012 yet again. See Lawton's piece and Wallace's piece for evidence of emotional writing. Then compare all three. I really like Joe Pepper's piece on Roy Hodgson posted by Chris Rowland in The Tomkin's Times. I don't know if you can open it here without subscription. Sorry about that.

All in all, it says it! The FA of England do not know what to do, fired Capello and appointed Hodgson and let him run the show. Well, that's enough for me to illustrate about what I think about "lazy-thinking" by comparing journalistic writings.

I know people are critical of me and I know the criticism. Be it from a well known practising architect to my office colleagues. I know what is important and I must dig in and focus hard and keep the vision on at all times. Rafa Benitez quoted a lot about "coaching" and "teaching them right so that they know and can apply for the rest of their lives".

I am in a position to teach them right and provide the learning that they could use for life. It says so in the Malaysian Qualification Framework (MQF) and Malaysian Qualifications Agency (MCA) - see link; Quote : The MQF has eight levels of qualifications in three national higher education sectors and is supported by lifelong education pathways. The sectors are (a) Skills; (b) Vocational and Technical; and (c) Academic. (link)

Quote: The European Commission defines lifelong learning as ‘all learning activities throughout life, with the aims of improving knowledge, skills and competence, within a personal, civic, social and or employment-related perspectives’. Lifelong learning is about providing a second chance to update basics skills and offering learning opportunities at more advanced levels. All this means that formal systems of provision need to be more open and flexible, so that such opportunities can be truly tailored to the needs of potential learners (ESAE, 2007).

How do you implement it in the studios?

I had a discussion with Kevin Mark Low the other day. His ideas were similar to what I had been thinking. About the importance of being original at everything we do.

ORIGINALITY IS WHAT WE SEEK

I will write more of these in my other blogs. Life is a Design Thesis and Contextural Design.

The Work

When I was 29 years old I read this book by Reshad Feild. He was narrating about a Sufi's journey and there was one idea that struck me and stayed with me until now.

A Sufi ( I never professed that I am one, though I am attracted to the notion) must do the Work, given to him or her by God. The talents and nature of a Sufi must be discovered and put to good use for the Work to be done. He could be a great facilitator, strategist, value-adder or composer. She could be a great manager, teacher or technician.

Whatever it is, once discovered it should be put to good use for humanity, mankind, community or at least family.

It should not be self-serving and short-termed. It should be life-long, visionary and sustainable.

I discovered my nature and talent even more so in the last year when I took a nine months break from the norm. I was discovering and implementing it earlier, even since 1997 when I started teaching at UM but I did not recognized it.

In life and doing the Work, it is important that you recognized your nature and talent. Often you need someone to identify it for you but if you don't realize it even if it's pointed out to you, then you will not be able to do the Work, and becomes to self-absorbed. That would be no good because what is your goal in that?

Without minding the impact of what you do to your community and humanity, you might be a destroyer rather than a builder.

Play safe

Playing safe is easy to do. Not much thinking needed, don't have to crack your brains. No need to face challenges.

No need to fight for what you believe in. No need to be misunderstood. Cozy life.

Play safe all your life, and you will realize you missed out on the best things in life.

Kindred Spirit

I was thinking about the phrase and idiom 'kindred spirit' which means: A kindred spirit is someone who feels and thinks the way you do.

I was thinking about it while looking at the small bonfire that was lit at my house compound. I think the word to define a small bunch of twigs and wood to make a little bonfire is kindling.

Somehow those two words/phrases got together and made me think about life, fire, passion and the belief to go and fulfill your heart's desire.

Add some more twigs and dry wood and you get a bigger fire.

To me those 'twigs and dry wood' are like friends who come into your life and with their desire and passion add to yours. That's why I feel life must be filled with beauty and the zest for it. I found friends that believe in the same things that I do, no matter their religious beliefs, cultural background and age.

Kindred spirits are around me, cloaking me in their warmth, making beautiful companionships possible.

Shapeless but bound

There are huge voids between the form, that got shapeless because maybe, the weather is too hot, or insects bored into and under the skin and laid eggs that makes you itch and burn.

Why did you let it? Let the form be sabotaged. In your haste and neglect to discover something profound you let go of your vigilance that served you well before.

This time you can never get it right and you can never get what you want even though you were really good at going for one thing but you knew, you will lose in the end.

Grasping void
Shapeless and only bound by your mind

Nothingness

Void
Empty
No more reason
To stay
Once love leaves
It becomes
Meaningless
Useless
Unfulfilled
Burdened
When love dies
Friendship is tasteless
Mere form
No life
Nothingness pervades

In the cold light of the day

Shivering alone
You wake up
To the cold morning light
The day gave form
To what was shapeless before
The lines and edges are now
Clearly seen
In the cold light of the day
The pain shapes and sharpen
What was blurred out before
Senses returned
Awakened in the new light

Plan B

If there was a plan, it would have been Plan A and if it did not go right and you'd have to change it, then it's called Plan B.

My Plan A did not work out because I simply did not prepare well for it. I was just excited to do one thing but neglected other essential things so I suffered from the change of strategy.

Plans are strategies. It's as simple as that. Tactics are the details.

There are people operating on a very conceptual level and much higher plane of vision, but most people deal with plans and details in their everyday design and operations.

Seven and a half months

It started one evening. Seven and a half months ago.

But what started it was 38 years ago when I was a kid and I was in America. When Elton John sang Candle in the Wind for the first time and when Diana was alive and have not met Charles.

38 years ago I started to search something that was not born yet, and was not even an idea. Only was in God's Plan.

How I wondered about the magic of it all, the preciousness of knowing something you wanted to since you were a kid. The journey to get there and to even believe it.

So seven and a half months ago I decided to embark on this final journey of discovery. I learned great things and depths of the unknown that I never thought existed. And it was all in me, discovered and treasured. Shared.

The journey ended yesterday as it was necessarily so to do, because I could not venture alone. And I don't know when I get to discover more again or that was the end of the journey.

If it was the end of discovery, then every second of that seven and a half months was worth it.

Sometimes

Sometimes, you just need to push ahead so that you don't go around in circles.
Sometimes, one person's sense of time is different than another person, maybe due to age differences and experience.
Sometimes, you just need to pour your heart and soul into lots of projects, like write, write and write.
Sometimes, you need to just lose yourself and then find your way back, so you can see things afresh and anew.

Because I Love

Amo Ergo Sum
By Kathleen Raine

Because I love
The sun pours out its rays of living gold
Pours out its gold and silver on the sea.

Because I love
The earth upon her astral spindle winds
Her ecstasy-producing dance.

Because I love
Clouds travel on the winds through wide skies,
Skies wide and beautiful, blue and deep.

Because I love
Wind blows white sails,
The wind blows over flowers, the sweet wind blows.

Because I love
The ferns grow green, and green the grass, and green
The transparent sunlit trees.

Because I love
Larks rise up from the grass
And all the leaves are full of singing birds.

Because I love
The summer air quivers with a thousand wings,
Myriads of jewelled eyes burn in the light.

Because I love
The iridescnt shells upon the sand
Takes forms as fine and intricate as thought.

Because I love
There is an invisible way across the sky,
Birds travel by that way, the sun and moon
And all the stars travel that path by night.

Because I love
There is a river flowing all night long.

Because I love
All night the river flows into my sleep,
Ten thousand living things are sleeping in my arms,
And sleeping wake, and flowing are at rest.

The Power of Words

What is your religion?
What is your belief?
If you believe in humanity and the good of people, you can make people act.
You can make people change for the better.

There are people who just accept anything thrown at them as truth, just because it came from a religious authority who could be reading somewhere and pronounce it as word of God, without questioning and proper study and interpretation.

And others will just accept it as the truth.

That's why we have to think for ourselves and question more as the origin of the teaching could be flawed.

This blog will change

I would like to inform my intention of changing this blog to be a REVIEW blog on matters regarding Film, Cinema, Culture and Context (non architectural).

The name will change and private contents will be made private viewing only soon.

Anything architectural, please go to here:

CONTEXTURAL DESIGN

Don't have to listen to preachers all the time...

You don't have to listen to preachers all the time...because they are like robots. They have to crank up whatever that is inside of them so that they tune out the emotional part of themselves, and then they digest whatever they need to from their religious mentors and their holy books...and then they put a pause button on their emotions and feelings...and then they speak out those robotic words...as if it will change you into a better person.

It's like a loudspeaker blaring out...so you close your ears because...no, its not that you do not believe in God and God's words...and no, its not that you want to be belligerent and defy God's laws and all those words of advice and wisdom...

It's because you want to find some peace in your life. That's all.

My purpose in life

A goal is a ahead of you.
It maybe a goal for yourself, or a goal for the team.
You know that you have to put the 'ball in the net'.
To put the 'ball in the net' (using football speak) is to score the goal, in bringing closer to winning the game.
Some matches, you can display your beautiful talent and people will stand around admiring and cheering you on.
Some matches, everything seems to be against you and the game is scrappy, one sided and it is so difficult to get the supporters to cheer you on and in fact, they are 'booing' you because it is so difficult to get it together and be in sync with the team.

The last scenario is what is happening at my workplace.

My purpose in life is to win for the team. I am the one that shoots the passes for the strikers to strike in the ball into the net.
I start the game plan and I create the tempo of the game, because I am the visionary and the initiator.
I must never claim the victory is mine, because I must allow it to be a team game and not a one man team game. People do not like the latter. They loathe it.

I should not be concern with the superficial moves and the bad tackles by others. I just have to get up and move on and play my game.

My purpose in life is to win for the team. For the School of Architecture, UM.
Go ahead and take the credit but the victory will always be mine and others will know in their hearts. Regardless of how people would like to dress it up.

They would call me emotional or whatever names there is under the sun, but as long as I know my purpose in life, that is all that matters.