What is my PhD for?

I asked my mother just now "What is my PhD for?" I asked her because I was not serious in my preparation for my viva. I keep on doing other things. And I think I did a lousy thesis. I was really not confident about my thesis. I needed some strength from somewhere...so I asked my mother.

So my mother said "For your mom and dad." So I cried because I had never been a good daughter to them both and the only thing I got now is to give them this.

My mother added that "Remember when your father had to do his PhD and the difficulties he had. You had no problem, only some glitches here and there. Think about your friends and how they had to cope while juggling with their family and problems." My mother would further elaborate.

But the point was that I am so exhausted about the whole thing. I wanted my mother to remind me why I did the PhD.

I need to get back to the fighting spirit. To defend my thesis. Like I have been harping to my students to do. I have to do the same.

I have to think that I have something to contribute to the body of knowledge and that I had something worthwhile done. And that it was not wasting time, wasting paper and money.

I have to get the fighting spirit back, and that was why I have been this way.