I will fight but differently. It looks like I have to take a step back or maybe sideways in order not to incur any illness.
There is no turning back.
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
The Hurt Locker
I watched / internalized the film the Hurt Locker.
This post is not about the film but about me, in my own hurt locker.
My father died of cancer in 1997 at the age of 64. He died because of his work. Perhaps the cancer was in him for sometime but because he was entrusted to produce the new institution - KIPSAS in Kuantan, Pahang out of nothing and pressured by the Secretariat of Pahang, his cancer excerbated. You see, my father is a quiet man, a hardworker and he will just take it and work on. Not like me, who followed my mother's "activist" character and would fight back.
However, I feel that I will die like him one day. Hopefully it will not be soon. But it's not easy when you do not get support from the bottom and the top and you are left on the limb most of the time. I also have a bad habit of not leaving alone the disability movement. Maybe they don't need me, but they keep referring to me to give advice.
I thought I could just concentrate the UM work but it has not been fulfilling and I am reduced to be a taskmaster to get results. But results are so difficult to get cooperation from others. The culture is people do not volunteer and assist unless they are coerced. A few do assist when its last minute and there is a few who care. Many are two-faced and just do minimum work and it will not look nice when you scold people older than you, for example.
In UM, I am just carrying on doing a job for a couple of years to assist that things go to plan and we do not sink. Yup. just keeping afloat. I do have standards of my own and do expect people to work their part, but they do not see the same standards or the same vision.
In the end, rather than addressing people who do not do work, I might as well just work on my own and never mind the rest, like what Yahaya and Helena did previously as head of department. However I think its a shame that we all cannot be leaders. I am not skiving off. I am not giving myself a rest while others assist. The more we chip in together and assist the better our school will be.
We are all leaders and its the same issue with the disability movement. Its not the analogy of the sheep following the shepherd or the followers following the leaders, but its more of facilitating and being a servant to the school, UM and the country.
The Hurt Locker depicted the lives of the bomb squad who dice with death every time there is a situation with war-torn Iraq. But we also dice our lives and can trigger a cancer or high blood pressure or heart attack every time we engage with our work. Because our work is important, that is why it is a difficult work with so many challenges and setbacks.
This post is not about the film but about me, in my own hurt locker.
My father died of cancer in 1997 at the age of 64. He died because of his work. Perhaps the cancer was in him for sometime but because he was entrusted to produce the new institution - KIPSAS in Kuantan, Pahang out of nothing and pressured by the Secretariat of Pahang, his cancer excerbated. You see, my father is a quiet man, a hardworker and he will just take it and work on. Not like me, who followed my mother's "activist" character and would fight back.
However, I feel that I will die like him one day. Hopefully it will not be soon. But it's not easy when you do not get support from the bottom and the top and you are left on the limb most of the time. I also have a bad habit of not leaving alone the disability movement. Maybe they don't need me, but they keep referring to me to give advice.
I thought I could just concentrate the UM work but it has not been fulfilling and I am reduced to be a taskmaster to get results. But results are so difficult to get cooperation from others. The culture is people do not volunteer and assist unless they are coerced. A few do assist when its last minute and there is a few who care. Many are two-faced and just do minimum work and it will not look nice when you scold people older than you, for example.
In UM, I am just carrying on doing a job for a couple of years to assist that things go to plan and we do not sink. Yup. just keeping afloat. I do have standards of my own and do expect people to work their part, but they do not see the same standards or the same vision.
In the end, rather than addressing people who do not do work, I might as well just work on my own and never mind the rest, like what Yahaya and Helena did previously as head of department. However I think its a shame that we all cannot be leaders. I am not skiving off. I am not giving myself a rest while others assist. The more we chip in together and assist the better our school will be.
We are all leaders and its the same issue with the disability movement. Its not the analogy of the sheep following the shepherd or the followers following the leaders, but its more of facilitating and being a servant to the school, UM and the country.
The Hurt Locker depicted the lives of the bomb squad who dice with death every time there is a situation with war-torn Iraq. But we also dice our lives and can trigger a cancer or high blood pressure or heart attack every time we engage with our work. Because our work is important, that is why it is a difficult work with so many challenges and setbacks.
Sunday, March 21, 2010
The Inglourious Basterds
I just finished watching Quentin Tarantino's latest film named The Inglorious Basterds. This is not meant to be a review, but if you want to know about it, this link is good:
rogerebert.com
Also the rotten tomatoes reviews.
Anyway, let's get back on my take on this movie.
This movie celebrates FILM. Because it is wicked and Tarantino, he blows up the cinema by using the film (nitrate content)to blow it up. But when you see the shots and frames, he celebrates FILM (with capital letters...)
You need to get pass the gory scalp and battered head scenes, but by now you are so use to Tarantino so it's a matter of course all that violence. But the brilliant part about the movie is of course the conversations. You must be a Tarantino fan to appreciate the long conversations. I would rewind the tape over and over again to check the nuances and double entendres of the message and story.
I mean, art is about nuances and the poetics of it all and Tarantino's movies are art forms of the genre.
There are so many delicious bits about the movie, in particular Brad Pitt's character and how he as an actor was enjoying it so much.
I leave you here with this link which is the best to describe the movie and make sense of it all.
Inglourious Bastards: Real or fictitious it does not matter
rogerebert.com
Also the rotten tomatoes reviews.
Anyway, let's get back on my take on this movie.
This movie celebrates FILM. Because it is wicked and Tarantino, he blows up the cinema by using the film (nitrate content)to blow it up. But when you see the shots and frames, he celebrates FILM (with capital letters...)
You need to get pass the gory scalp and battered head scenes, but by now you are so use to Tarantino so it's a matter of course all that violence. But the brilliant part about the movie is of course the conversations. You must be a Tarantino fan to appreciate the long conversations. I would rewind the tape over and over again to check the nuances and double entendres of the message and story.
I mean, art is about nuances and the poetics of it all and Tarantino's movies are art forms of the genre.
There are so many delicious bits about the movie, in particular Brad Pitt's character and how he as an actor was enjoying it so much.
I leave you here with this link which is the best to describe the movie and make sense of it all.
Inglourious Bastards: Real or fictitious it does not matter
Tuesday, February 09, 2010
Taking A Stand
Never be on the fence.
Take the opportunity, once its given to you, to make a stand.
It is possible to make a difference.
Because taking a stand means that you are making your presence felt.
Because you are not just a number standing in line.
You are not just making the numbers.
You have ideas and a strong contribution to society.
Go on and take a stand.
It is now or never.
Take the opportunity, once its given to you, to make a stand.
It is possible to make a difference.
Because taking a stand means that you are making your presence felt.
Because you are not just a number standing in line.
You are not just making the numbers.
You have ideas and a strong contribution to society.
Go on and take a stand.
It is now or never.
Saturday, January 02, 2010
Going back to my roots
I think teaching the lower years who be more exciting... Actually I have no problem teaching the upper years ie 5th year design thesis studio, but I think teaching the lower years would be more challenging and interesting. At this juncture of my intellectual development...
Monday, December 28, 2009
Lack of inspiration requires heroes
Sometimes we sat slumped in our seats, tired and worn. Not so much out of physical tiredness, but more like, mentally and spiritually spent.
There is a side to us, the spiritual side which we often neglect. Straight on, we would expect our spiritual side to be nourished with spiritual activities, like doing prayers and such. However, I would like to add that the emotional side is strongly linked with the spiritual side and that when the emotional needs are being fed, the spirit is revived.
Take for instance - being inspired. To be inspired requires oneself to "cry" in ecstasy of the incredible and sublime moment witnessed or felt. To connect with a moment of sublimity and pure joy would be incredible.
What gets you?
What makes you inspired?
When I visited the Van Gogh Museum at Amsterdam, and viewing his work, I get inspired. Something stirred within me.
When I watched Steven Gerrard scored that wonderful header against Wolves, I got tears in my eyes.
These things inspired me because I have a connection to them. An emotional one. And it carried my spirits, afloat, if for a moment.
We should not be shy to say that we are inspired by some act of sublimity by humans. It is ours. We do not have to be apologetic about it.
Of course, we witness the Act of God and there are many around us.
It is human to be touched by other humans because we operate in so many ways. Not just one way.
But two ways. And at best of times, these moments are with other humans. Our heroes...every day...
We are connected and in that emotional connection, we can get inspired.
When we lack inspiration, we require 'our heroes' to show the way.
There is a side to us, the spiritual side which we often neglect. Straight on, we would expect our spiritual side to be nourished with spiritual activities, like doing prayers and such. However, I would like to add that the emotional side is strongly linked with the spiritual side and that when the emotional needs are being fed, the spirit is revived.
Take for instance - being inspired. To be inspired requires oneself to "cry" in ecstasy of the incredible and sublime moment witnessed or felt. To connect with a moment of sublimity and pure joy would be incredible.
What gets you?
What makes you inspired?
When I visited the Van Gogh Museum at Amsterdam, and viewing his work, I get inspired. Something stirred within me.
When I watched Steven Gerrard scored that wonderful header against Wolves, I got tears in my eyes.
These things inspired me because I have a connection to them. An emotional one. And it carried my spirits, afloat, if for a moment.
We should not be shy to say that we are inspired by some act of sublimity by humans. It is ours. We do not have to be apologetic about it.
Of course, we witness the Act of God and there are many around us.
It is human to be touched by other humans because we operate in so many ways. Not just one way.
But two ways. And at best of times, these moments are with other humans. Our heroes...every day...
We are connected and in that emotional connection, we can get inspired.
When we lack inspiration, we require 'our heroes' to show the way.
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
We
We
by
L6
“The socialism I believe in is not really politics. It is a way of living. It is humanity. I believe the only way to live and to be truly successful is by collective effort, with everyone working for each other, everyone helping each other, and everyone having a share of the rewards at the end of the day. That might be asking a lot, but it's the way I see football and the way I see life.”
I know what you’re thinking. Not another Bill Shankly quotation. Not another call to arms to the digital masses. Not another series of statements struggling unsuccessfully to penetrate the mind of those who have already made theirs up on our manager, our owners, our support and our football club – for better or for worse.
It isn’t as it seems, though.
I quote Bill Shankly, not because we have just passed the 50th anniversary of his appointment, not because I’m making some convoluted comparison with our current manager, not even because he is our greatest manager ever (arguably).
I quote it because it is the best view on socialism I’ve ever read. It’s perfect. I don’t claim to be a political expert but it is a view I subscribe to. It is people helping other people with collective effort – and it’s doing so in football and life.
It isn’t football I’m really interested in. This brief exploration into the hefty concept socialism isn’t about how Aurelio and Benayoun should be helping each other or how the attitude of our captain needs to change. It’s about the fans. It’s about life.
The socialism Shankly believed in was not just limited to on the pitch. He recognised that vital link between the players and the fans, between the city and the football club. They worked with each other and helped each other. The football club would not have 18 league titles or 5 European Cups if it wasn’t for the city or the fans. The city wouldn’t be what it is now if it wasn’t for the football club. That’s unity, that’s collective effort – that’s Shankly’s socialism.
For me, an attack on our football club is an attack on our city. I listened to Portsmouth fans on Saturday urging the omniscient football deity to feed us and let us know it’s Christmas time. That extends further than football ‘banter’ to me – that’s the people of Portsmouth mocking the people of Liverpool. Years of stereotypes against the city regurgitated through the medium of football. And it’s not just Portsmouth. Newcastle, Aston Villa, Manchester United…all the country’s major cities, trying to shit at us at a great height.
But our away end, no matter what shit we get, shrug it off because we’re Liverpool. We represent our football club and we represent our city.
As far as I can remember – and I’m sure the esteemed older gentleman of yesteryear (hello Chopper) can think back even longer – Liverpool has been a target of ridicule and unfair treatment, both the city and the football club. The media and the mayor of dat der London may pass it off as self-pitying but that’s bollocks. Anyone who says the media doesn’t have an agenda against the city or the football club needs to look harder.
But we, the people of Liverpool and the fans of Liverpool Football Club, have never allowed them to hit that target. We’ve united, we’ve stood up, we’ve fought, clawed, battled and rose up against those who tried to harm us. We are a special breed who looks out for one another. We try our best to uphold our traditions. We go away to European cities as football fans and we treat our hosts with respect because we want the world to know why we are different and why what the media and the rest of the country say is a pile of shite.
We.
We are in the midst of another barrage from the media and the country who believe that their word is gospel. Probably the worst I’ve ever experienced. They are trying to humiliate our football club and humiliate our city. They are trying to humiliate the man who has done his best to understand the link between club and city since he’s been in charge. They are trying to humiliate the captain of our football club and therefore an ambassador of our city. They are trying to humiliate the fans who watch their football club every single week.
It does not matter if you want Rafael Benitez to be our manager because at the moment he is. He is part of Liverpool Football Club, he cares about Liverpool Football Club and therefore he cares about the city and its people. There has to be a collective effort to help him – he is one of us and we look out for our own because he’s not one of them.
It does not matter if you want Steven Gerrard to be our captain because at the moment he is. He is part of Liverpool Football Club, he cares about Liverpool Football Club and therefore he cares about the city and its people. There has to be a collective effort to help him – he is one of us and we look out for our own because he’s not one of them.
We as a football club, and therefore a city, must take this latest bombardment and not let us become an easy target. We’ve always fought against the shit we’ve been given and thrown it back twice as hard because we’re Liverpool.
It’s more than football, it’s a deep rooted agenda against us and I’ll be fucked if we’re going to let them win now.
Show Shanks that it wasn’t asking a lot and that his idea of socialism is still in this football club and it’s still in this city, even though the sport and society has changed a lot since then. At times like these, looking after each other is the only thing we can rely on and no matter what your personal belief is, we’ve won battles against them before with our unity, so stick together and get behind our city, our football club and those who have its best interests at heart.
I’m not saying if we do this we’ll win the title or we’ll win the cup. It’s much more important than that, it’s about upholding our integrity and not letting the bastards win. And to let Shankly’s legacy and hope live on:
“Above all, I would like to be remembered as a man who was selfless, who strove and worried so that others could share the glory, and who built up a family of people who could hold their heads up high and say, 'We're Liverpool'.”
by
L6
“The socialism I believe in is not really politics. It is a way of living. It is humanity. I believe the only way to live and to be truly successful is by collective effort, with everyone working for each other, everyone helping each other, and everyone having a share of the rewards at the end of the day. That might be asking a lot, but it's the way I see football and the way I see life.”
I know what you’re thinking. Not another Bill Shankly quotation. Not another call to arms to the digital masses. Not another series of statements struggling unsuccessfully to penetrate the mind of those who have already made theirs up on our manager, our owners, our support and our football club – for better or for worse.
It isn’t as it seems, though.
I quote Bill Shankly, not because we have just passed the 50th anniversary of his appointment, not because I’m making some convoluted comparison with our current manager, not even because he is our greatest manager ever (arguably).
I quote it because it is the best view on socialism I’ve ever read. It’s perfect. I don’t claim to be a political expert but it is a view I subscribe to. It is people helping other people with collective effort – and it’s doing so in football and life.
It isn’t football I’m really interested in. This brief exploration into the hefty concept socialism isn’t about how Aurelio and Benayoun should be helping each other or how the attitude of our captain needs to change. It’s about the fans. It’s about life.
The socialism Shankly believed in was not just limited to on the pitch. He recognised that vital link between the players and the fans, between the city and the football club. They worked with each other and helped each other. The football club would not have 18 league titles or 5 European Cups if it wasn’t for the city or the fans. The city wouldn’t be what it is now if it wasn’t for the football club. That’s unity, that’s collective effort – that’s Shankly’s socialism.
For me, an attack on our football club is an attack on our city. I listened to Portsmouth fans on Saturday urging the omniscient football deity to feed us and let us know it’s Christmas time. That extends further than football ‘banter’ to me – that’s the people of Portsmouth mocking the people of Liverpool. Years of stereotypes against the city regurgitated through the medium of football. And it’s not just Portsmouth. Newcastle, Aston Villa, Manchester United…all the country’s major cities, trying to shit at us at a great height.
But our away end, no matter what shit we get, shrug it off because we’re Liverpool. We represent our football club and we represent our city.
As far as I can remember – and I’m sure the esteemed older gentleman of yesteryear (hello Chopper) can think back even longer – Liverpool has been a target of ridicule and unfair treatment, both the city and the football club. The media and the mayor of dat der London may pass it off as self-pitying but that’s bollocks. Anyone who says the media doesn’t have an agenda against the city or the football club needs to look harder.
But we, the people of Liverpool and the fans of Liverpool Football Club, have never allowed them to hit that target. We’ve united, we’ve stood up, we’ve fought, clawed, battled and rose up against those who tried to harm us. We are a special breed who looks out for one another. We try our best to uphold our traditions. We go away to European cities as football fans and we treat our hosts with respect because we want the world to know why we are different and why what the media and the rest of the country say is a pile of shite.
We.
We are in the midst of another barrage from the media and the country who believe that their word is gospel. Probably the worst I’ve ever experienced. They are trying to humiliate our football club and humiliate our city. They are trying to humiliate the man who has done his best to understand the link between club and city since he’s been in charge. They are trying to humiliate the captain of our football club and therefore an ambassador of our city. They are trying to humiliate the fans who watch their football club every single week.
It does not matter if you want Rafael Benitez to be our manager because at the moment he is. He is part of Liverpool Football Club, he cares about Liverpool Football Club and therefore he cares about the city and its people. There has to be a collective effort to help him – he is one of us and we look out for our own because he’s not one of them.
It does not matter if you want Steven Gerrard to be our captain because at the moment he is. He is part of Liverpool Football Club, he cares about Liverpool Football Club and therefore he cares about the city and its people. There has to be a collective effort to help him – he is one of us and we look out for our own because he’s not one of them.
We as a football club, and therefore a city, must take this latest bombardment and not let us become an easy target. We’ve always fought against the shit we’ve been given and thrown it back twice as hard because we’re Liverpool.
It’s more than football, it’s a deep rooted agenda against us and I’ll be fucked if we’re going to let them win now.
Show Shanks that it wasn’t asking a lot and that his idea of socialism is still in this football club and it’s still in this city, even though the sport and society has changed a lot since then. At times like these, looking after each other is the only thing we can rely on and no matter what your personal belief is, we’ve won battles against them before with our unity, so stick together and get behind our city, our football club and those who have its best interests at heart.
I’m not saying if we do this we’ll win the title or we’ll win the cup. It’s much more important than that, it’s about upholding our integrity and not letting the bastards win. And to let Shankly’s legacy and hope live on:
“Above all, I would like to be remembered as a man who was selfless, who strove and worried so that others could share the glory, and who built up a family of people who could hold their heads up high and say, 'We're Liverpool'.”
Tuesday, December 01, 2009
Deciding to be blur
Tell me, do you decide to be blur or that you are really 'blur' with a capital B?
I mean, what's with the spaced out condition. Is studying taxing your brains too much? What's the deal huh? You want to get your degree by minimum effort?
It's very rude, in my opinion, people who has this attitude to do minimum effort.
It makes me think - why bother with these people?
I mean, what's with the spaced out condition. Is studying taxing your brains too much? What's the deal huh? You want to get your degree by minimum effort?
It's very rude, in my opinion, people who has this attitude to do minimum effort.
It makes me think - why bother with these people?
Friday, November 27, 2009
Takayama - Nagoya castle
Today on 27 November 2009, I need to take the train to Nagoya from Takayama. I missed the breakfast again at the hotel. So at 9:45 am I took the taxi to Cafe Scenery near the train station and ordered a Danish set, with cinnamon and bluebery croissants plus coffee. Coffee always taste good in Japan, some how.
Yeah, the Japanese is the ultimate consumerist. Perhaps that is the `clue` to all this.
I think we (many people) are fascinated with the Japanese. Since Frank Lloyd Wright and the Art Nouveaurist...the Japanese (question is) are they hell-bent on the preservation of their culture and would use the most advanced technology to preserve their culture? What is culture to the Japanese? Does it matter to the younger generation? (I got one perspective later from 26 year old Yuki)
How can you survive facing globalisation?
I think I want to be beyond Malaysia. Haruki, your novel will make more sense.
At the station, I got the reserved ticket at 5,870 Japanese yen (about USD 58)to Nagoya. Yup, its about 2 1/2 hours ride and I called Yuki that I will arrive there at 2 pm. Taking the Hida express no. 8 at 11:35 am. I hope that everything will be okay. I assumed that the railway station staff will assist me. I don`t think I have too much stuff. But its hard to keep up pace. The Japanese people are so fast. I suppose it is worse in Tokyo.
What is driving the Japanese people?
A sense of duty, responsibility inculculated since childhood I suppose. No wonder nations want to control their children`s minds. This reminded me of Stephie not wanting to be German. That`s the other extreme. Do Japanese still believe deep in their psyche that they are the superior race. I noticed they only talked about the Americans other than themselves and even that just as reference. The British does not impress them.
Is there a huge gap between the older and younger generation?
It`s a quick trip so I don`t expect to get the answers so quickly.
I met Yuki and Koji at Nagoya station. Yuki has yet to finsih architecture and Koji dropped out of college earlier and worked for 10 years and only now started to study again. We went to a cheap sushi restaurant.
It was really great eating all sorts of sushi that I could not get back in Malaysia. They dared me to eat the crab brains sushi - urghh... and the smelly fermented `nato` or is it nutto? I did and the first one was gross. Nice kids. Yuki gave me Doala a Kunichi Dragons mascot...just like the truck driver in Haruki`s Kafka novel. And Koji gave me a milk caramel. I gave them the rest of the silk batik handkerchiefs and keychains, the baseball one for Yuki and the samurai one for Koji...
Yeah, we talked about being Japanese and the culture and preserve and all that. When we went to Nagoya castle, Yuki told me that he agreed the mayor`s decision to do a replica in timber of the castle extension. And the mayor is going to reconstruct the Nagoya castle itself, which was a concrete one built after the war. Why not, because the Japanese has the money and the know-how.
Someone asked me about this Japanese paradox and this is a fine example. Using new technology to preserve the old culture.
Yeah, the Japanese is the ultimate consumerist. Perhaps that is the `clue` to all this.
I think we (many people) are fascinated with the Japanese. Since Frank Lloyd Wright and the Art Nouveaurist...the Japanese (question is) are they hell-bent on the preservation of their culture and would use the most advanced technology to preserve their culture? What is culture to the Japanese? Does it matter to the younger generation? (I got one perspective later from 26 year old Yuki)
How can you survive facing globalisation?
I think I want to be beyond Malaysia. Haruki, your novel will make more sense.
At the station, I got the reserved ticket at 5,870 Japanese yen (about USD 58)to Nagoya. Yup, its about 2 1/2 hours ride and I called Yuki that I will arrive there at 2 pm. Taking the Hida express no. 8 at 11:35 am. I hope that everything will be okay. I assumed that the railway station staff will assist me. I don`t think I have too much stuff. But its hard to keep up pace. The Japanese people are so fast. I suppose it is worse in Tokyo.
What is driving the Japanese people?
A sense of duty, responsibility inculculated since childhood I suppose. No wonder nations want to control their children`s minds. This reminded me of Stephie not wanting to be German. That`s the other extreme. Do Japanese still believe deep in their psyche that they are the superior race. I noticed they only talked about the Americans other than themselves and even that just as reference. The British does not impress them.
Is there a huge gap between the older and younger generation?
It`s a quick trip so I don`t expect to get the answers so quickly.
I met Yuki and Koji at Nagoya station. Yuki has yet to finsih architecture and Koji dropped out of college earlier and worked for 10 years and only now started to study again. We went to a cheap sushi restaurant.
It was really great eating all sorts of sushi that I could not get back in Malaysia. They dared me to eat the crab brains sushi - urghh... and the smelly fermented `nato` or is it nutto? I did and the first one was gross. Nice kids. Yuki gave me Doala a Kunichi Dragons mascot...just like the truck driver in Haruki`s Kafka novel. And Koji gave me a milk caramel. I gave them the rest of the silk batik handkerchiefs and keychains, the baseball one for Yuki and the samurai one for Koji...
Yeah, we talked about being Japanese and the culture and preserve and all that. When we went to Nagoya castle, Yuki told me that he agreed the mayor`s decision to do a replica in timber of the castle extension. And the mayor is going to reconstruct the Nagoya castle itself, which was a concrete one built after the war. Why not, because the Japanese has the money and the know-how.
Someone asked me about this Japanese paradox and this is a fine example. Using new technology to preserve the old culture.
Thursday, November 26, 2009
Takayama - Day 3
Today I presented on behalf of Malaysia. I tried my best. Talked about the legislative and implementation mechanism, basically the People with Disabilities Act 2008, and its impact as an instrument; then quickly touched on the the role of disabled people and concluded. Not much, just 10 minutes.
The scope of discussion in on the built environment and transportation, with a bent on employment. I think I managed to get two points across, where I would have loved to get three or four points out. The points I got across is 1. the PWD Act 2008 and the role of the Council; 2. mechanisms of implementation and why its not working. I suppose I did my best. I was steady and realised that I could not discuss on the access audits and the UNDP pproject.
Anyway, I hope people learned something.
Yesterday, I visited the Jinya which is an old courthouse and beautiful 17th century timber building and I was so happy because it gave me a great example of accessibility to a historic building...
It was the era of the shogun...and there was a torture chamber right there in the courthouse. They wiped our wheelchairs after we had to be pushed up the steps via two ramps, one short 4 feet one and longer 10 feet one. Both are portable ramps. Then we wheeled across the tatami mats of the courthouse.
I really loved the jinya. I have no time now, but maybe next time, I would like to have a longer stay in Japan and the means to travel and visit all these historic places in Japan.
The scope of discussion in on the built environment and transportation, with a bent on employment. I think I managed to get two points across, where I would have loved to get three or four points out. The points I got across is 1. the PWD Act 2008 and the role of the Council; 2. mechanisms of implementation and why its not working. I suppose I did my best. I was steady and realised that I could not discuss on the access audits and the UNDP pproject.
Anyway, I hope people learned something.
Yesterday, I visited the Jinya which is an old courthouse and beautiful 17th century timber building and I was so happy because it gave me a great example of accessibility to a historic building...
It was the era of the shogun...and there was a torture chamber right there in the courthouse. They wiped our wheelchairs after we had to be pushed up the steps via two ramps, one short 4 feet one and longer 10 feet one. Both are portable ramps. Then we wheeled across the tatami mats of the courthouse.
I really loved the jinya. I have no time now, but maybe next time, I would like to have a longer stay in Japan and the means to travel and visit all these historic places in Japan.
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Takayama - Day 2
I learned something new today.
Takayama is a real working example of inclusive society. Although the Japanese may not appreciate that much the word 'inclusive' because after all they are hierarchical structured society like Malaysia, maybe more so, but they do provide a very good example of how to make it very accessible.
Alan Hill, born in England and lived in New York, stated that he find Japan more accessible than the United States. Satoh mentioned to me that San Franscisco and Bekerley to be more accessible than Japan. Whatever it is, I find the Japanese people most endearing in their sense of duty and responsibility and their practical ways.
I am sure like in any society, they have many barriers to making the city accessible. Yamamoto-san said that it took them 10 years to come to where they are.
I said that Takayama is a good role model, yes, for other Asian cities especially for a historic city. I talked about us being stuck with the European model of preserving the historic city no matter what, but what about Takayama. Tomorrow we shall see, because I will be visiting Takayama historic city centre and the old Court House / Government building, Jinya.
Apart from that, a very interesting after dinner meeting chaired by Aiko where it states here from my observation;
ESCAP Meeting
Interesting interjection by Yamamoto-san for the group to reconsider what it is to be said in the Takayama Declaration. INteresting to see the political deliberation of the group meeting.
' LOST IN TRANSLATION'
No wonder that story / film really tells it about the foreigner in Japan. Even we can get it wrong with people of the same culture. Some things are more abstract though...
Takayama is a real working example of inclusive society. Although the Japanese may not appreciate that much the word 'inclusive' because after all they are hierarchical structured society like Malaysia, maybe more so, but they do provide a very good example of how to make it very accessible.
Alan Hill, born in England and lived in New York, stated that he find Japan more accessible than the United States. Satoh mentioned to me that San Franscisco and Bekerley to be more accessible than Japan. Whatever it is, I find the Japanese people most endearing in their sense of duty and responsibility and their practical ways.
I am sure like in any society, they have many barriers to making the city accessible. Yamamoto-san said that it took them 10 years to come to where they are.
I said that Takayama is a good role model, yes, for other Asian cities especially for a historic city. I talked about us being stuck with the European model of preserving the historic city no matter what, but what about Takayama. Tomorrow we shall see, because I will be visiting Takayama historic city centre and the old Court House / Government building, Jinya.
Apart from that, a very interesting after dinner meeting chaired by Aiko where it states here from my observation;
ESCAP Meeting
Interesting interjection by Yamamoto-san for the group to reconsider what it is to be said in the Takayama Declaration. INteresting to see the political deliberation of the group meeting.
' LOST IN TRANSLATION'
No wonder that story / film really tells it about the foreigner in Japan. Even we can get it wrong with people of the same culture. Some things are more abstract though...
Monday, November 23, 2009
Journeys
Maybe many people don't do this or they do it differently but I have my "own Haruki Murakami" novel of my life...'Kafka on the Shore'. Age 15, and the hero Kafka discovered himself. As I have to continue discovering like him. I have the right to know about myself.
We may be doing selfish things. In a way everyone is selfish or practise whether they can see themselves or not. It's all about self-preservation. The number one thing that all living being wills itself to do.
Because we fall in love, we want to discover ourselves. It is a fact. We are selfish. Its not about the other person actually. Its about ourselves. Self-preservation again.
Like I said, today, Chapter One closes.
Let's look back:
1962 - 65 : Baby and toddler years or the beginning
1966 - 73 : Pain and strength
1973 - 79 : San Diego - my first journey
1976 - 79 : TKC years
1980 - 84 : First Pain as an adult
1985 - 90 : London years
1991 - 94 : UTM JB
1995 - 96 : Preamble
1997 - 04 : Finding myself after Dad died
2005 - 09 : Chapter One - my first spiritual journey
Yes, that's about it. If I die tomorrow, that's it. That's my life. Don't know what will happen after this.
We may be doing selfish things. In a way everyone is selfish or practise whether they can see themselves or not. It's all about self-preservation. The number one thing that all living being wills itself to do.
Because we fall in love, we want to discover ourselves. It is a fact. We are selfish. Its not about the other person actually. Its about ourselves. Self-preservation again.
Like I said, today, Chapter One closes.
Let's look back:
1962 - 65 : Baby and toddler years or the beginning
1966 - 73 : Pain and strength
1973 - 79 : San Diego - my first journey
1976 - 79 : TKC years
1980 - 84 : First Pain as an adult
1985 - 90 : London years
1991 - 94 : UTM JB
1995 - 96 : Preamble
1997 - 04 : Finding myself after Dad died
2005 - 09 : Chapter One - my first spiritual journey
Yes, that's about it. If I die tomorrow, that's it. That's my life. Don't know what will happen after this.
First day in Japan
I cannot describe the feeling of euphoria and excitement being in Japan. It`s really amazing.
Somehow this visit coincided with a journey of trying to rediscover myself. It was intense and now it is continuing to be so. A spiritual journey of sorts.
So if you are waiting to read about my `journey in Japan` I am afraid you are in for a disappointment at the moment. As one fact is, my camera has no battery life and I am really in a spiritual journey rather. So, no Japan, just me...
I wish I can read beyond those Japanese characters. The formality, the sense of duty of the Japanese. It was a really smooth trip for me from the airport to right at Takayama train station. Although expensive, in Japan the box sushi bought at the convenience store taste better than the sushi in some Japanese restaurants back home! Can`t wait to have the real thing now...
Anyway, this spiritual journey of mine has come to a point where I am so really finding out about myself, incredible big time. What I can say is - `you will never know about yourself unless you find out`. Sounds not that profound and common sense, but I have never actually tried to find out about myself in a way that I have the right to. I had just accepted things as they come and figure out in a way that is `superficial`.
I have to have some time for myself to find myself. Often, we are awash with life`s activities and not really make the time. And another thing, we must touch base, keep abreast of our feelings. We cannot take ourselves for granted.
First day in Japan, land of the rising spiritual sun.
Conclude one chapter.
Somehow this visit coincided with a journey of trying to rediscover myself. It was intense and now it is continuing to be so. A spiritual journey of sorts.
So if you are waiting to read about my `journey in Japan` I am afraid you are in for a disappointment at the moment. As one fact is, my camera has no battery life and I am really in a spiritual journey rather. So, no Japan, just me...
I wish I can read beyond those Japanese characters. The formality, the sense of duty of the Japanese. It was a really smooth trip for me from the airport to right at Takayama train station. Although expensive, in Japan the box sushi bought at the convenience store taste better than the sushi in some Japanese restaurants back home! Can`t wait to have the real thing now...
Anyway, this spiritual journey of mine has come to a point where I am so really finding out about myself, incredible big time. What I can say is - `you will never know about yourself unless you find out`. Sounds not that profound and common sense, but I have never actually tried to find out about myself in a way that I have the right to. I had just accepted things as they come and figure out in a way that is `superficial`.
I have to have some time for myself to find myself. Often, we are awash with life`s activities and not really make the time. And another thing, we must touch base, keep abreast of our feelings. We cannot take ourselves for granted.
First day in Japan, land of the rising spiritual sun.
Conclude one chapter.
Saturday, November 21, 2009
Bored with life?
That's the last thing that I would want to happen to me, to be bored with life. So much things to do and look forward to. But sometimes it happens, the lows, you know. When you just don't get inspired and what you do is going through the motions.
We are all searching for something. And inevitably its searching for inspiration. That's a reason for drug use or abusing ourselves with substance and other forms of addiction. Sensations and feelings of euphoria or just to feel good. No one wants to feel bad. Even if in an austerity drive or being kind of poor, you could enjoy life if you are inspired.
Traveling is inspiring when you could savor the travels or engage with the travel. The walking and waiting at airport lounges are upsetting at times and makes you bored and inspired, but the destination and what it awaits you should be something that you look forward to. It's like having to go through hassle and sometimes 'hell' to get to something worth doing all that for.
Having a really good communication and good relationship with people could be inspiring, especially in a work place which often drudgery and boredom reigns. Setting up goals and defining work functions really help to make a difference in an otherwise poor working environment.
We go through the mundane of the everyday, look forward to be with loved ones, family and sometimes friends.
But one important factor to be inspired is to have a constant companionship which feeds a certain need to learn about yourself. It's very abstract what I am saying because it can be any form. It has to be spiritual, and of course spiritual does not mean in religious terms here.
Let me just say it that, if your current relationship or partnership is not spiritual, just physical or going through the motions, you won't get inspired. It has to be spiritual. Your companion has to get inspired. Perhaps both of you get inspired from each other. Both of you has to be spiritual.
You know we meet so many people in our life, but to find people that inspire you is very rare. I mean this in relationships, not an idol or someone far away or someone like a figure head, that's your leader or boss. The person could be not a boss or leader but inspires you. If you meet once awhile that's well and good. But to be inspired everyday. Wouldn't that be wonderful.
To wake up everyday with that feeling that the world is at your feet and you feel a sense of freedom that you could do anything and every thing is possible.
Isn't that what every one wants?
We are all searching for something. And inevitably its searching for inspiration. That's a reason for drug use or abusing ourselves with substance and other forms of addiction. Sensations and feelings of euphoria or just to feel good. No one wants to feel bad. Even if in an austerity drive or being kind of poor, you could enjoy life if you are inspired.
Traveling is inspiring when you could savor the travels or engage with the travel. The walking and waiting at airport lounges are upsetting at times and makes you bored and inspired, but the destination and what it awaits you should be something that you look forward to. It's like having to go through hassle and sometimes 'hell' to get to something worth doing all that for.
Having a really good communication and good relationship with people could be inspiring, especially in a work place which often drudgery and boredom reigns. Setting up goals and defining work functions really help to make a difference in an otherwise poor working environment.
We go through the mundane of the everyday, look forward to be with loved ones, family and sometimes friends.
But one important factor to be inspired is to have a constant companionship which feeds a certain need to learn about yourself. It's very abstract what I am saying because it can be any form. It has to be spiritual, and of course spiritual does not mean in religious terms here.
Let me just say it that, if your current relationship or partnership is not spiritual, just physical or going through the motions, you won't get inspired. It has to be spiritual. Your companion has to get inspired. Perhaps both of you get inspired from each other. Both of you has to be spiritual.
You know we meet so many people in our life, but to find people that inspire you is very rare. I mean this in relationships, not an idol or someone far away or someone like a figure head, that's your leader or boss. The person could be not a boss or leader but inspires you. If you meet once awhile that's well and good. But to be inspired everyday. Wouldn't that be wonderful.
To wake up everyday with that feeling that the world is at your feet and you feel a sense of freedom that you could do anything and every thing is possible.
Isn't that what every one wants?
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Traveling is a drug...
I remembered my first journey at the age of 11.
My Dad went before us to San Diego to do his PhD. The rest of the family had to wait for me, on account of I have to complete my Assessment Exams (Standard 5). So we went to America, and I stayed there for 2 years, while they stayed longer.
I remember this first trip of mine so well. I can still taste and smell it. It really gave me a buzz, until now I still get buzzes with trips. Especially to new places.
Reading Murakami, I was dreaming of going to Japan. And it came true, the chance! It's all expenses paid to Takayama on account that I represent Malaysians to speak at a Congress.
But the point is here: I am going to travel! It gets me.
My Dad went before us to San Diego to do his PhD. The rest of the family had to wait for me, on account of I have to complete my Assessment Exams (Standard 5). So we went to America, and I stayed there for 2 years, while they stayed longer.
I remember this first trip of mine so well. I can still taste and smell it. It really gave me a buzz, until now I still get buzzes with trips. Especially to new places.
Reading Murakami, I was dreaming of going to Japan. And it came true, the chance! It's all expenses paid to Takayama on account that I represent Malaysians to speak at a Congress.
But the point is here: I am going to travel! It gets me.
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Life is a game
"No way Jose!",someone would call out, if I say, "Life is a game." Surely, amongst us there are the serious people. I am one. I take life seriously.
For instance, being a lecturer is based on the fact that I want to do good. For humankind, society and for a life-long learning experience. Learning is good. We become better human beings. There are some things that was thought to me regarding spiritual and religious matters that I try to live up to. Fardhu kifayah or to be able to contribute to society and participate in positive community life.
Then why do I say, "Life is a game."
Provocation is a way to create an understanding and realisation about what constitutes life. However, I don't mean to be a "bully" and provoke people unnecessary. I just feel that I have some insights and some skills (blessed by God) to do things or make things happen in a society. I kept on using my intuition a lot in whatever I do. Sometimes its okay and many times it caused problems for me.
"Life is a game" means that there is a time frame put to life. There are rules and regulations set or interpret by the people who either want the game to happen in a harmonious and conducive manner or to control the proceedings. You can have a referee to implement the rules. Sometimes a whistle is blown when you are caught offside or fouling an opponent. You are not suppose to endanger other people or release your anger and take it out on an opponent. You could be sent off and not participate in life, like "go to jail" or "chill-out".
"Life is a game" also means that the clock is running, while you are in the game. You still can turn the game around by focusing on what matters most and step up on your performance. Say you had a bad 15 minutes of the game, so you analyse and be critical about your performance so far, and then you up your performance by learning quickly about your mistakes and keep focusing on getting better, because you are given the chance to get back into the game.
Sometimes you see someone who inspires you or give you reasons to perform better. So you motivate yourself and up your performance level, so that you get back into the game.
As long as the "final whistle" is not blown, you still have a chance to turn the game to your advantage.
PS - Like even in Islam, it is taught that you still have a chance to redeem yourself, any time before you leave this earth.
For instance, being a lecturer is based on the fact that I want to do good. For humankind, society and for a life-long learning experience. Learning is good. We become better human beings. There are some things that was thought to me regarding spiritual and religious matters that I try to live up to. Fardhu kifayah or to be able to contribute to society and participate in positive community life.
Then why do I say, "Life is a game."
Provocation is a way to create an understanding and realisation about what constitutes life. However, I don't mean to be a "bully" and provoke people unnecessary. I just feel that I have some insights and some skills (blessed by God) to do things or make things happen in a society. I kept on using my intuition a lot in whatever I do. Sometimes its okay and many times it caused problems for me.
"Life is a game" means that there is a time frame put to life. There are rules and regulations set or interpret by the people who either want the game to happen in a harmonious and conducive manner or to control the proceedings. You can have a referee to implement the rules. Sometimes a whistle is blown when you are caught offside or fouling an opponent. You are not suppose to endanger other people or release your anger and take it out on an opponent. You could be sent off and not participate in life, like "go to jail" or "chill-out".
"Life is a game" also means that the clock is running, while you are in the game. You still can turn the game around by focusing on what matters most and step up on your performance. Say you had a bad 15 minutes of the game, so you analyse and be critical about your performance so far, and then you up your performance by learning quickly about your mistakes and keep focusing on getting better, because you are given the chance to get back into the game.
Sometimes you see someone who inspires you or give you reasons to perform better. So you motivate yourself and up your performance level, so that you get back into the game.
As long as the "final whistle" is not blown, you still have a chance to turn the game to your advantage.
PS - Like even in Islam, it is taught that you still have a chance to redeem yourself, any time before you leave this earth.
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Knowing what to do
Sometimes we take ourselves for granted. For other people's sake, we say we can. For other people's peace of mind, we tell them we know what to do.
But often, we don't really know what we are doing?
Life is not made up of perfect packages for display.
It's more complicated than that.
In our religious belief, we are not animals. But we have some of their traits and make-up. For sure we are a living being, made up of cells and DNA...and that we will die. We are not inanimate, that's for certain. What differs us from animals is 'ihsan' or the humane part. The so-called higher part of 'intellect'. We could reason out to be human is to exercise intellect. So intellect is not for the learned but for everyone.
Let's go back to the point of "knowing what to do". To use our cognitive faculties, we become more skillful with our intellect. But there is a thing call common sense and there is a thing call "reality check".
If we do not know what to do, why must we make believe we know what to do? Why is it when we keep on trying to do some things, we keep on 'hitting a blank wall' or keep on 'slipping while trying to grip on the slippery walls of a well'?
Keeping a check on reality, we must first admit that, we do not know what to do. We need help to get it done. So we must call for help.
Sometimes it is so difficult to ask for help. Barriers such as pride, guilt, prejudice, hate or anger may block us from willing it. Pulling us back from saying "help".
Knowing what to do, must first constitute of realising that you know not what to do and asking for help.
The very first step is "to ask" what to do, in order to do it.
"What should I do, God? Please give me your Rope to grip."
But often, we don't really know what we are doing?
Life is not made up of perfect packages for display.
It's more complicated than that.
In our religious belief, we are not animals. But we have some of their traits and make-up. For sure we are a living being, made up of cells and DNA...and that we will die. We are not inanimate, that's for certain. What differs us from animals is 'ihsan' or the humane part. The so-called higher part of 'intellect'. We could reason out to be human is to exercise intellect. So intellect is not for the learned but for everyone.
Let's go back to the point of "knowing what to do". To use our cognitive faculties, we become more skillful with our intellect. But there is a thing call common sense and there is a thing call "reality check".
If we do not know what to do, why must we make believe we know what to do? Why is it when we keep on trying to do some things, we keep on 'hitting a blank wall' or keep on 'slipping while trying to grip on the slippery walls of a well'?
Keeping a check on reality, we must first admit that, we do not know what to do. We need help to get it done. So we must call for help.
Sometimes it is so difficult to ask for help. Barriers such as pride, guilt, prejudice, hate or anger may block us from willing it. Pulling us back from saying "help".
Knowing what to do, must first constitute of realising that you know not what to do and asking for help.
The very first step is "to ask" what to do, in order to do it.
"What should I do, God? Please give me your Rope to grip."
Friday, October 23, 2009
It's another day
What's another day when you can't see straight, hugging on blurred edges, trekking back and forth. No end in sight, when you can't wait. It happens because you willed it wrong.
Second wind, where are you?
Just push me up from underneath with your aerodynamics, so I could fly.
An epiphany came and went. Too quickly. During crit.
I caught its back draft. Could not really catch its drift.
Balloons. Many of them, just float below the ceiling. Caught in the maximum of the minimum.
People came and went. Like cameo roles of the untouchables. Unreachable souls.
One day I will lose you. I came from you. You bore me.
My ties with the past will sever. I shall be floating like the balloons.
Maximum under minimum.
It's another day in paradise. Not a manic monday though.
Second wind, where are you?
Just push me up from underneath with your aerodynamics, so I could fly.
An epiphany came and went. Too quickly. During crit.
I caught its back draft. Could not really catch its drift.
Balloons. Many of them, just float below the ceiling. Caught in the maximum of the minimum.
People came and went. Like cameo roles of the untouchables. Unreachable souls.
One day I will lose you. I came from you. You bore me.
My ties with the past will sever. I shall be floating like the balloons.
Maximum under minimum.
It's another day in paradise. Not a manic monday though.
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Frustration
Today my design thesis students presented their first semester's work. Usually I would write about this in my "life is a design thesis" blog. But this is about how I feel personally and what its doing to me, so I write it here.
I write today in sheer frustration, about letting down my students. All of them. All of my design thesis studio students.
This is what I feel.
Don't try to make me feel better, because I know better. I know what could have been done better.
There are certain individuals I feel very responsible about because I did not get to them earlier.
I have no excuses except the fact that I realised the head of department's job had to make something 'give in' and in this case its the design studio.
Their is a lecturer who is concerned about the fact that I have the head of department's job and I agree its true, it affects the design studio. In fact the design studio marks are not bad, but I know the truth. I know that it could have been much better.
I want to tell my students why...
But having someone take my place may not help the situation. The grades may be the same though but I need to get real...
There must be a way to make it much better, next semester.
I write today in sheer frustration, about letting down my students. All of them. All of my design thesis studio students.
This is what I feel.
Don't try to make me feel better, because I know better. I know what could have been done better.
There are certain individuals I feel very responsible about because I did not get to them earlier.
I have no excuses except the fact that I realised the head of department's job had to make something 'give in' and in this case its the design studio.
Their is a lecturer who is concerned about the fact that I have the head of department's job and I agree its true, it affects the design studio. In fact the design studio marks are not bad, but I know the truth. I know that it could have been much better.
I want to tell my students why...
But having someone take my place may not help the situation. The grades may be the same though but I need to get real...
There must be a way to make it much better, next semester.
Friday, October 09, 2009
Automatic Pilot
I was at the faculty's lobby when I called out to a student to deliver something to the studio rep. After the transaction completed I said to him " Ah, I am on automatic pilot!" That's because I gave him something that I thought of giving three days ago, but the agenda had changed and it was obsolete. Hence, I was giving something today which I was suppose to be giving three days ago (as an auto-pilot mechanism thing...)
I have morphed into an auto-pilot person!
Of course its early days and I have to adjust myself, pace myself, work out the priorities...and the momentum of working is faster now.
Just don't want to trip and fall. Metaphorically and for real...
I have morphed into an auto-pilot person!
Of course its early days and I have to adjust myself, pace myself, work out the priorities...and the momentum of working is faster now.
Just don't want to trip and fall. Metaphorically and for real...
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